Dancing With Fear

Last week I found myself staring down the pipe of a 60-foot drop. A deal gone well or bad? I was feeling a bit of both transitioning from one altitude to another.

 This summer the Rushes have spent a lot of time at our local water park. If you’re familiar with Texas summers, you know there’s not much to enjoy outside if it doesn’t involve water. It’s been fun to experience the thrills of the park together as a family and seeing everyone inch their way to greater feats of courage.  Even my oldest son, naturally cautious, has stared fear in the face and literally taken the plunge! We struck a deal early on that we’d both push into our fears and when he’d take a step of courage, dad would do likewise.

Dancing with fear can be exhilarating!

There is such thing as healthy fear, but I’m convinced most of my fear is not. I fear being inadequate, I fear being rejected, I fear being insignificant, I fear being wrong, I fear being poor, I fear dying, I fear…. Maybe you have some fears of your own?

The great question is not the presence of fear but the influence I give my fear. There’re only two options, really. Allow fear to push me into the margins or grab hold of my fear and dance. Leadership begins with self and here lies the crux of it all. Am I willing to dance? Sure, there are existential fears but it’s the fear within that paralyzes. The moment I begin the retreat is the beginning of the end. Abdication to the fear within.

Moving me forward is the change I desire. Nothing grandiose to the world but to my world, yes. Change always involves dancing with fear. Bravado; hutzpah! Stepping into the space where success and failure both hang in the balance. But what’s the alternative? I can avoid the pain of change or the pain of regret but not both.

Change will happen but only through the fear. Gripping my faith, meditating on the character of God, I lean in.