A Letter to My Older Children
Life is full of surprises. Kind of cliché but totally true! By now you’ve probably experienced both sides of the coin bringing unimaginable joy and unbearable pain. It’s hard to know one without having experienced the other. Choose gratitude. Even in the lowest moments, there’s so much to be thankful for. It’s easy to focus on what we lack or what we’ve lost and fail to see what God’s abundantly given. Your attitude in response to life’s setbacks and successes will determine the quality of life more than any other thing. My constant through it all has been the grace of God and your mother. The older I become the more aware I am of the depths of my sin and how undeserving I am. I don’t ask how God could allow the bad things in my life, rather how could God be so merciful to allow so many good things? Your mother, each of you, our extended families, friends, opportunities to serve, and the list could go on. I’m not entitled to any of it and yet God has freely given.
Take time to evaluate the attraction of your faith. We all trust in something for meaning, purpose, and security and the object of our trust will become your north star. Validation from others, financial abundance, and a host of licentious behaviors have all been paths I’ve wondered down but have concluded that God alone is worthy of my faith. My pursuit of Him expressed in relationship to those around me brings abundance in life. With Jesus at the center everything else falls into place but put anything lesser at the center and our lives become an endless pursuit of chasing carrots that are always just out of reach. Your humanness rest in the reality of God’s inherit image on you. When our affections are given to the created rather than the creator we reject the very essence of our humanness.
Have a vision for your life and remember it is daily decisions that move us closer to that vision or further away. There’s a proverb that says, commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans (16:3). Make the wise choice in the decision that lay ahead, and God will direct your path for good. It’s easy to get decision paralysis but when you commit your next step and then the next to the Lord we can trust in His providential plan. Even when we make an unwise decision His grace is present to lead us back on path. Even when making wise choices, God’s plan will probably look different than what you originally had in mind. Don’t let the fear of the unknown prevent you from moving forward. It’s easier to live with the pain of failure than of regret. Failures are an opportunity to learn and reset.
Find a spouse that’s committed to pursuing Christ and mutually support each other’s dreams. Two are better than one as long as they’re headed in the same direction. Life is going to give you some tough knocks so make your home a refuge of love and encouragement. Be honest with one another in all things. Your intimacy with one another depends on it. Have fun; make memories. The stories you’ll tell often are out of the ordinary moments you spend with others so find ways to shake up the routine. Relationships are central to everything. A team that invests in one another will produce exponential results whether it’s your home team or work team. A leader I have tremendous respect for often reminds me that you can go fast alone but further together.
Regardless of the specific situation you’re in when you read this, I can guarantee you a few things. You’re loved by me. Not based on what you’ve accomplished but on who you are. God’s unconditional love for me was hard to comprehend until I had each of you. I’m grasping it more each day because of you. More importantly, you’re loved by God. He’s intimately aware of your life and has an extraordinary purpose for you. You’re the only you that will ever be and He will empower you to change your world today. There’s adventure and fulfillment in running the race set before you. Enjoy, but don’t clinch, the things that won’t last and pursue those things you can never lose.
Your mother and I will always be your biggest fans.
Love,
Dad