The Inexcapable Self
Leadership can be a frustrating endeavor. The essence of leadership is exerting energy to influence people toward a preferred outcome. If time is the most valuable resource; energy must be a close second. In a world that gravitates toward atrophy, energy seeps out effortlessly. Bills must be paid, children need to arrive at practice, the boss wants a last-minute report, or the weeds have once again overtaken the flowerbed. We’ve all come to a day’s end and have been asked the question, “so, what did you do today?” We’re not quite sure, but we’re exhausted.
Different seasons come with various responsibilities, but there is no such thing as a responsibility free life. Being responsible is a characteristic of a godly life. It’s called adulting. Womp, womp! But could there be a point where our reactiveness could become detrimental? And what does that point have to do with leadership?
There is a common denominator to all our lives and that common denominator is self. Everywhere we go, every interaction we have, and every season of life, the common thread is ourselves. If we want to experience supreme frustration, try functioning in a life that is trying to give away something that we don’t have. If we do this with money, we end up in debt. If we do this with time, we experience burn out. If we do this with our spiritual life, we become hypocrites. I’m not aware of anyone who set out to experience any of those things, but I do know plenty of people who have ended up there. Hell, I’ve ended up there. The energy it takes to untangle our lives is a lot more than that which caused the knot. Thank God for His mercy time and time again.
Our greatest responsibility in the eyes of God is leading ourselves. Perhaps this sounds a bit controversial but consider Romans 14:12, “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” The most challenging person I’ve been charged to lead is myself. The previous definition of leadership was intentional. It’s impossible to lead others to a preferred outcome without being on the path too. To lead others, we must lead ourselves. We cannot give away what we do not have.
It's uncanny how similar patterns arise in my life and how quickly I outsource that frustration. Recurring frustrations or barriers should lead us to examine ourselves, but that’s usually the last resort not the first. The difficulty in leading self is the cold reality that we can’t run away. We can suppress reality through drink, pills, sex, shopping, traveling, performance, et cetera, but reality will always present itself. It takes humility to pop the hood on our hearts, but the impact is unparalleled.
The greatest impediment toward preferred outcomes originates within. The most challenging and rewarding person to lead is ourselves. The grace of God grants us a wonderful invitation to examine and expose ourselves before the all-knowing God. “Test me, Lord, and try me; examine my heart and mind” (Psalm 26:2). There is humility and strength that comes from our accountability before God. Out of the riches of a vulnerable life before God comes the ability to lead ourselves. This is non-negotiable to effectively lead others. Truly great leadership doesn’t come from I.Q. or persuasive ability. Truly great leadership is forged in the crucible of self-examination. Leading oneself in those quiet places unbeknownst to others. It takes intentionality. It takes energy. But it’s a powerful posture in the hands of God whose outcomes should always be preferred.